April 09, 2011.
Its 11:38pm and I am awoken by a familiar sensation (or the lack there of). I am wrapped in a white ice cold cotton sheet and the last two finger of my right hand are numb and a portion of my entire right arm is also numb. I wake up and vigorously try to smack my hand and arm awake, I am so startled but then I remember...this feeling was the same feeling I use to get when I had my chemotherapy treatment. This was a side effect that was mentioned to me by the nurse who administered the chemo, that also explains why my nail bed and the lower portion of my nail is a pale blue.
Here is the ironic thing, I haven't had chemotherapy or any treatment since February 27, 2011 because I was dropped from my insurance in mid March. Yes, you heard correct...all my cancer related treatments were refused/"denied" and I now owe THOUSANDS of dollars!
The first feeling I felt after being told by my insurance carrier that ALL my claims would be denied due to a deemed 'pre-existing condition', was FEAR. After the fear settled I then felt this sadness and a deep sense of rejection. "No one really cares whether I live or die, they aren't here for me, they are here to treat me"- These are the words I said to myself while crying like a child on my bed on the afternoon of March 16, 2011. All I could think of was that -I was going to die!
"How am I going to come out of this alive? I have no insurance, no one will cover me, all those bills will equal thousands of dollars." I started to panic and I cried even more. The stress was getting the best of me and I wanted to just GIVE UP.
I prayed to God and I said "I can't see two feet in front of me, I'm lost, I'm tired, I have had a life of many difficult challenges yet you have never failed me, I am not in control here- YOU ARE so just show me the way and I will go." - (This part is super important so pay attention)
I spent the next day in a daze but I gathered myself together and started to devise a plan. I picked up the phone and called the nurse that was assigned to me via the internal patient relations and nursing department of the insurance company (all insurance companies have this when someone has a chronic disease), and then I get the full story. It seems that since I mentioned feeling the lump in my left breast just a few days before my new policy began, the insurance company deemed it as a symptom and therefore it was considered a pre-existing condition. Note to all, learn the insurance jargon and the game. Here is what I mean. - Had I been on a group plan and not an individual plan then the insurance company would NOT have been able to deny my claims. A group plan is exactly as it sounds. It is a plan that has many participants and is either part of your employer offered benefits OR you CAN enroll in an insurance plan that is part of a multi plan/group option. I highly recommend that if you or anyone you know is a sole proprietor or is like me and just wanted insurance coverage, GET ON A GROUP PLAN. The story gets better. After I am told this horrifying break down of why, I am told I can appeal. So what do I do?...I appeal of course. On March 16, 2011, one day before I am scheduled for my third chemotherapy treatment, I get a call from the billing department of my Doctor's office. The woman on the phone proceeds to tell me that I "cannot receive treatment tomorrow, unless I am capable of paying towards my $39,000 medical bill. WHAT???!! Now anyone that knows a little about cancer, stress is a major driver in a patients recovery. Stress was at my door step and the bastard was carrying a bouquet of flowers just to torment me because after the billing representative tells me this and my heart drops, she then tells me that she can rework the numbers ($) and bring down the payment. I'm thinking..O.K. I don't have much to begin with but maybe I can work something out- this was sheer desperation talking. She comes back (here was the bouquet of roses I was referring to) on the phone and says "we can bring the balance to $22,900 and a payment of $5,000 will allow you to receive treatment tomorrow. I calmly tell her that I will be appealing the insurance decision in hopes that she will let me see my doctor and hoping that I can get injected with this toxic filth that is propagated to save lives. Don't get me wrong, I know many people have survived cancer doing things the way the doctor tell them but from jump, I was against chemotherapy and yet here I was, begging for it. How funny is that? How crazy and illogical does that sound? Do you know what that was?...FEAR. I was so afraid that I wasn't thinking straight. But who could, really? - a week later I get a bill in the mail for $54,670 from the same doctors' office. Apparently the claims are all adjusting, since the insurance refuses to pay- can YOU smell the roses? I can't!
A week prior I started to experience excruciating pain in my right shoulder, my shoulder blade and front chest; a very bad neck spasm had limited my movement and I was in unbelievable pain. I went to my doctor on Tuesday of the following week (two days before my 3rd chemo treatment, that never took place) and she recommended some pain killers, acupuncture (a real stretch for her because she told that she was going to prescribe something "alternative", indicating that seldom physicians do so) and physical therapy. I took the pain killers but by the second night I was fatigued from the pain killers. After being told I couldn't have chemotherapy my spasm worsened and later that evening (Thursday) I call my doctor and tell her that the pain is unbearable, she sends me to the ER and orders a scan. I got to the hospital at 8:30pm, was interviewed and placed in a room by 9:45pm. I was then given 1mg of a drug to subside the pain. This drug was equivalent to 10mg of Morphine, I thought I was going to pass out, truly. My face was a pale white and the nurse stood by me and asked me if I wanted something else to subside the nausea. "God, one drug after the other...I've been trying to desperately build my body up so I can fight this cancer and all these toxic drugs are going to set me back"...so I said no. If you don't know this listen close...drugs are toxins, when you ingest a lot of medications or a small dose for extended amounts of time, two things happen. One, your blood becomes acidic and in this acidic environment cancer grows, it is a breeding ground for cancer and other ailments. Two, the toxins can be so strong that depending on the individuals' digestive system, those toxins can stay in your stool for weeks upon weeks and if they are not eliminated they get redistributed into your blood stream, even more toxic and more deadly. When these two things happen the body is in a compromised position and cells that are scheduled to die and be discarded (Apoptosis) can not be and proteins that are suppose to fight against abnormal cell development begin to assist its growth (everyone is confused). More and more studies are showing that genetics has NOTHING OR VERY LITTLE TO DO with CANCER. (see link of Dr. Lipton)
I took my CT scan, chest X-Ray and ultrasound and they all showed negative for metastasis.I was relieved._- Did you know that one CT Scan is the equivalent radiation exposure of 447 X-Rays? I decided after my second chemo treatment to begin a regimen consisting of Aloe Vera to speed the tumor shrinking process in hopes of getting to surgery sooner and having less chemotherapy but on that Tuesday appointment, my doctor felt my tumor and was so amazed at how much it had shrunk with only two treatments, plus I has been aspirating the tumor through my nipple and I showed it to her. She was so impressed that she suggested to do all 6 chemo treatments up front and a bilateral mastectomy and radiation and hormone replacement therapy, etc.... I was confused, wasn't I doing well? Doesn't that get me some "no chemo" sessions? NOPE it does not, on the basis that since I am a good "responder" chances are I would fair well with all the treatment and so the idea is to push on just to be sure. Here is my point, these doctors are NOT SURE. This is a gamble. I was siting in the room receiving my second treatment and a woman came in who was a volunteer for the Gilda's Club (cancer support and education group) and she sits down and explains that she had breast cancer 7 years earlier and now its in her spleen. She proceeds to tell all the women in the room about how she never had the Herceptin drug (wasn't offered then) and that was probably why the cancer returned. In fact, at one of the educational seminars at the local chapter of the Gilda's Club the group of survivors and patient attendees confirmed with the doctor (guest speaker) that cancer was much like the game of "wack-a-doo", you can take your mallet and wack the cancer but another one will pop up somewhere else and all you can do is keep wacking it. HUH???
Are you people serious? Is this freaking for real? Its as if cancer has become a way of life. Let me ask you, how many people do you know have or had cancer? Better said, how many people do you know that knows someone with, had or died of cancer?
Wack a doo? - I have an answer for this in a later blog entry.
Back to the hospital. It is now 2:35am (I remember this clearly) and all my test results weren't back and my husband and I can barely keep our eyes open, at this point I break down and ask for the anti nausea drug because believe it or not, I am still high like a kite and I am anxiously fighting the nausea. I figured that at this point I'm already so toxic that I might as well be comfortable. Sure enough, around 3:30am a canker soar starts to show up in my mouth; the acidity in my body was so bad that I was getting a soar. These mouth soars are also very common for patients on chemotherapy. yet another indicator of how these drugs effect our immune system. Mind you, back in 2005 I suffered from a bout of mouth soars that total 10 in a two week period. I went to two doctors and they both told me to stay away from stress (yeah right- I had just recovered from nursing my mom through cancer) and acidic foods. I wasn't satisfied with that answer but what did I know, so I moved on. Looking back, I wish I would have done my research and maybe I wouldn't be here now. Anyway, it's 5am and we are finally leaving and all they can tell me is that it is a reaction from the chemotherapy. Great!
I spent the next two weeks calling patient advocacy groups, the appeals department of my insurance company, the national PCIP (pre-existing condition insurance plan) hot line, La Ligua Contra Cancer (Miami, FL) and in all this I never received a follow up call from my doctor to see how I was feeling after my hospital visit. So much for professional ethic.
Then God spoke to me. A white light didn't come down from heaven, I didn't get face time with the man and I didn't have a messenger at my door. I was in my bedroom putting my laundry away and I remembered my prayer after the second chemo treatment. I prayed, I asked that God stop this chemo because I felt like it was killing my spirit. I was so fatigued and nervous inside that I felt like something entered my body and was taking over. I felt dirty and I felt sick. So, after I remembered that prayer I felt a warmth come over me and all I could hear in my heart was "This is what you wanted", I got down on my knees and cried and sobbed because for a split second I thought "oh my God, I prayed to die". Then a calm came over me, almost like I knew better than that. You know writing this I can admit I sound like Cybil but I'm not. I don't have multiple personalities (although my husband may disagree :)), I was having a "breakthrough" as they call it psychology. I was listening to my heart, I was listening to God. All that praying for what I thought I wanted, all those prayers about my worries and fears and I wasn't asking for the time or opportunity to listen. Not everyone suffers from this lack of faith or self doubt, but I do. And so after the calm came over me I stopped crying and I said OK, "Ok Melissa this is it. You have done so much research and you have done the conventional treatment, you can't stay here unprotected so what are you going to do? What do you want?"
While I have reached out to charity programs for people in my position and have several appointments to find an oncology team to follow me, I am still waiting to be seen. However, I put my faith in God and have begun a 30 day complete body all natural healing cleans to kill this cancer and repair my body. This consists of no meat, all juicing, plenty of water and a slew of herbal treatments that detoxify the body. In addition, I have several physical treatments that demand a regimen of 2-3 times a week and include high enemas twice a week. This program is not for those individuals that don't believe in the healing power of the human body and don't believe that God made us his temple, we are sacred and made in his light. Why wouldn't we be able to heal? If all I get out of this is a tumor shrunk to a size that is operable then I will be relieved but the truth is that I am doing everything I can to just be done with this cancer, so wish me luck. Since I have begun the tumor has aspirated more than ever and it is a fraction of its size since the last chemotherapy treatment.
The other day I was at Whole Foods market ( I only eat organic foods now and SO SHOULD YOU)and this man walked by my husband and I and stopped my husband and asked" does she have cancer?". That started a lengthy conversation and he proceeded to tell me that I can cure myself naturally and he knows people who have. This was a stranger, he didn't seem crazy, in fact he was quite educated. I had already begun the process and was glad to get my confirmation. The following day as I am preparing my next Detox Tea my husband was on the phone with a gentleman regarding business and he proceeds to tell him that his wife was diagnosed in January with Breast Cancer (stage I) and she opted to heal herself naturally (they are originally from California and his previous career was in cancer research and treatment) and in her last mammography they couldn't find the cancer. This isn't a hoax, people aren't lying. Those people that know me know that I am a fighter and I have never given up on anything. More importantly, I am not a liar. This is what I am doing and if I fail then I know I have to go another route but I highly doubt this will be the outcome. My intention is to inform you all as to my progress. So far the chemotherapy I had is slowly releasing out of my body, hence the reaction in my hand and arm after not having treatment in over a month. This recurrence of a chemotherapy reacyion took place after I had done a cold sheet treatment and high enema with a fever inducing bath (not in that order), it sounds a lot worse than what it is. Frankly, its a lot better than chemotherapy and radiation.
Did you know, that these conventional treatments have been linked to causing cancer recurrences? Due to the fact that the toxicity is so great and the radiation so intense, the body holds on to those toxins and the cancer starts all over again! - I wonder why conventional medicine refuses to include massive detoxification as part of their treatment plan?
I have lost more weight (10lbs.), I am slowly working my way up to running again- goal is 3 miles and while this may not be relevant or appeal to many people I have to share the importance of this...I am no longer constipated. I know the subject isn't something to discuss at a cocktail party but what I am learning is that our digestive health is directly linked to diabetes, arthritis, asthma, MS, Alzheimer's, and more. This is greatly due to the fact that we are not expelling enough waste. Our diets do not consist of high fiber and roughage. We don't really know what a balance diet looks like - that government endorsed pyramid is wayyyyyy off! Animal fat is extremely high in PH and in conjunction with other high PH foods like processed foods i.e. sandwich meats, Doritos, frozen dinners, Lean Cuisines, canned fruits, canned veggies, canned beans), our bodies become so acidic that cells in our bodies stop functioning as they should. We are being poisoned and the only way to stop it is to flush it all out (not via your store bought cleansing systems) and build up the immune system. I've included a few good links below so that you can slowly gather your own conclusion. I wish you all great health and enormous faith.
-Melissa
Resources
1. http://www.cancerfightingstrategies.com/causes.html
2. http://www.mercola.com/ (watch the video on the far right "The Town of ALLOPATHY")
3. http://www.herbdoc.com/
4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLZ7GqWpEqM - Dr.Lipton (Biologist)**** Very Important
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Its Been Awhile
Two months have passed and I am in a new place. I waited some time to write because frankly, I wasnt sure where I stood with all that has happened. Let me start by first saying this, I have read through all the comments and I am so grateful to everyone for their encouragement and wealth of information. Words can't begin to describe how much this all means to me. Saying that, I want to make it known that I intend on being as graphic and honest as possible about what is taking place. Although I am not the first and unfortunately won't be the last to have cancer, I find that people are overly concerned about being as politically correct (PC) as possible. Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I have always been careful with my words and rarely do I say things I don't mean. It is my belief that words live; they are powerful in the positive and powerful in the negative, they can move people and nations, they can confuse and debilitate. Words sometime mean everything. My intention with this blog is to speak the truth about my experience and what I am learning about the truths in my life and share them with you. So lets begin.
On January 4, 2011 I had a sentinel node biopsy of my anxillary node (on my left side). The doctors saw in my PET scan that one lymph node was active and my medical oncologist was 99% certain it was cancer, she was right. Since my lymph node was involved that pushed me into stage III of Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC). They removed two nodes during surgery because the second looked suspicious, still til this day I never received a straight answer on the second node, but I am grateful that they only removed two and not more. Why? The lymphatic system of the human body sole purpose is to assist our body to drain toxins and fluids up through our circulatory system and through lymphatic system, down our arms and out. Now, my question was- out of where? Out from where? Believe it or not no one really knows and when I say no one I mean the medical community. This isn't a bashing so hold on to your boot straps. My mother has told me that when I was a little girl I was always asking "why?" and she would ask me if I had an OFF switch (apparently my questioning was quite excessive- funny, I am living that same feeling now with my 2 year old :)). Til this day I can answer NO to that question and I can admit that I remain insistant on asking "Why?".
So naturally, I asked "where do these toxins and fluids go?" and I was told "out". So if "out" is a space that is unknown and just accepted and science has acknowledged that there is matter than we can not see or touch, why can't they wrap their heads around the practices of naturopathy, around whole body treatment. Why are we accepting that they be so closed off? I'm not rambling, there is a point to this. Once I realized the importance of my lymphatic system I started to question the mastectomy portion of my treatment plan because it includes the removal of two of the three layers of my lymphatic system on my left side, which can begin with 15 or more nodes. Once the lymphs are removed there is a 15% chance that I can suffer from lymphadema, which is the swelling of the entire arm and a full arm brace is required whenever lifting moderate to heavy loads. As I think to myself I say... well, the only loads I could immediately think of were my children! The oldest is 2yrs and he weighs 37lbs and the 10 month old is 27lbs- these are solid kids, so that would mean that I would have to be extra cautious or seldom lift my children...this is CRAP!!! Moving on... Furthermore, whenever a person who has had this type of surgery travels on an airplane, he/she must cover the arm that is compromised and should an infection from a cut or bruise effect the arm, an immediate visit to the emergency room is mandatory. Ok, well there is only a 15% chance and that's pretty low, right? Well, the reality is that even if you don't suffer from lymphedema (swelling of the arm), everything else I described applies. Do you see how at first its misleading. This means that even if you never experience the swelling of the arm- any bruising, infection, traveling in high altitudes and lifting are all areas of concern and should not be taking lightly, for the remainder of your life. Last, anyone with a compromised lymphatic system is much more suseptible to all kinds of illnesses and infections due to the fact that your body in functioning at 60% (estimated); the lymph nodes under the arm are that important. I was also informed that taking blood from my left arm is no longer advised and I only had two nodes removed. Remember, the purpose of having the lymph nodes removed is to ensure or lessen the probability of cancer returning- in the event there are cells in the nodes the couldn't see. Well, if you can't see it with your scans then maybe the use of thermography could assist in the investigation of cells that may go undetected...hmmmmm? So frustrating.
Recently, I read an article in a creditable medical journal published by a team of doctors from Sloan Ketterin and MD Anderson that disclosed their latest study regarding lymph node removal during breast surgery for cancer patients. The article concluded that the probability of cancer returning amongst people who have had their lymph nodes removed fare less favorable (by 1%) to that of people that have not had their lymph nodes removed. That is to say, the study explained that within the test group the chances of cancer returning for those with their lymph nodes removed verses those with their nodes intact (not taken out) after a period five years was less than 1% and infact, the woman with their nodes rated higher in survival by 1%. The difference is marginal when you look at the group as a whole but the point I am making is that the removal of the uninfiltrated lymph nodes is unnecessary in most cases. I am so glad this study has been done becuase it was very unsettling for me to accept that part of my body would be removed with out reason. I argued the fact as soon as I was told that this was part of my bilateral mastectomy. It didn't make sense to me, I know I am not a doctor but if no other lymph nodes showed concern in my scan prior to surgery, why remove them, especially knowing how important they are. You see it is my belief that the body shouldn't be treated like the experimental frog in the biology 101 class in high school with respects to justifying what we can and cannot do without. Everything has its purpose and it is in place for a reason. We have become a society of convenience and have disregarded our own bodies and their importance. If we don't like our breast, we change them, if our rear ends aren't big enough we enlarge, if our teeth aren't white enough we bleach them. Did you know that even the fluoride in our drinking water and in our tooth paste has been linked to brain defects and slowed intellegence in our young children? A recent study EXPOSED that fluoride has a marginal (less than 1%) benefit to fighting cavities. The invention of fluoride and the marketing tactic behind the addition of fluoride into out water system was because of its "GREAT BENEFITS" when infact the producers knew all along that ingesting this low grade toxin over time would or could be hazardous. There is an effort now to ban the use of fluoride in the city water system, each city has its own petition, please look it up- I will leave the link below. What an amazing marketing ploy, very successful I might add. So successful that every municipality in the USA (almost) is a customer...WOW!!
The goal in the treatment of cancer should be to preserve and build up the immune system before you remove or do harm. With all the wealth of knowledge that we as people, as professionals and as a medical community have, why have we chosen to mustard gas (known form of cytotoxin first used as chemical warfar by the Germans in 1917) ourselves through chemotherapy and surgeries? Naturopathic medicine, chinese medicine, botany, herbology, etc.has been with us for centuries in one form or another. Why aren't we doing better? Better said, why aren't our doctors working together? I wish their was a team of doctors from each discipline that would form a panel. A team that would take to the research lab and utilize all their knowledge of the natural sciences and conventional and genetics and kind a cure!! Do you remember when you were a child and you would dream up great scenarios? I find myself there everytime I prepare for chemotherapy and recently more so than usual after losing a dear friend last week to lung cancer. This monster is killing people everyday! Although the name of the game here is to stay positive, there isn't one cancer warrior I know that doesn't wonder if his or her name will be on a gravestone next. I know I have. I look at my son's and I pray that they won't have to look at pictures of me to recall who I am or hear stories about the things I did. This is the reality about having a deadly disease and after the treatment is over and I believe I will be blessed to be one of the people "in remission", I will have the next 10 years of my life to wonder if the next doctors' visit will reveal anything that I DON'T want to hear. Nevertheless, I continue to believe that this an opportunity to be reborn and nothing more. There are people who have made great achievements in cancer that we should all know about and research for ourselves.
Dr. Max Gerson attempted to share his discovering for the CURE for cancer in 1944 but when it came time for him to present his finding to the congressional committe to cure cancer of which consisted of a few doctors turned senator, the number of media that were to cover the story and publicize his great work found themselves instead at a well positioned gala that day, sponsored by a few pharaceutical and medical community leaders instead. The findings were kept under very low profile and Dr. Gerson's professionalism questioned. If you don't know this story don't worry, I didn't know it either until someone shared with me on the comments section of this blog, I encourgae you to do the same. This therapy (The Gerson Therapy) is not just for cancer, it is for any and practically all aliments ranging from asthma, arthritis, diabetes, thyroid, and cancer. If you want to learn about true balance of the body and enzymes then start here; Dr. Gerson was one of the first pioneers. Back to January 4, 2011.
I had surgery. My port was placed into the right side of my chest and I was ready for chemo. The port is a small plastic triangle shaped disc that is placed just below the surface of the skin, above the chest muscle. Attached is a small, thin, plastic tube that follows along the main vascular flow at the center of your chest. When the chemo and the Herceptin is administered it flows through the tube and into your body. After this was completed I had my first chemotherapy treatment on January 6, 2011. As I look back on it, I can tell you that I was scared and I was scared-into doing it. Frankly, up until a few days ago I was scared-into doing it. My tumor grew so fast in such a short period of three and a half weeks that I was affraid I wouldn't make it. I wish the tumor didn't grow so fast, I would have made some different decisions but... it did and I did what I felt was necessary. On January 13, 2011 I went into my doctors office with a low grade fever and I was feeling horrible. My liver was throbbing and my legs were aching and my white blood cell count was too low, so they gave me a shot of Neulasta. Neulasta forces the body to produce new white blood cells, which are produced through the bone. Naturally,this is a longer process becuase the body will produce red blood cells as well and so the white blood cells have to 'wait their turn' so to speak. This was not something I was capable of waiting for so I was given the shot. Little did I know that the low white blood cell count was due to something else. I was getting an infection. Fast forward to January 19, 2011. I have a mask on and I am on a flight out to Houston, TX to meet with a very high profile alternative genetic research doctor named S.R. Bruzynski (Bruzynski Clinic) and later with the conventional MD Anderson, rated #1 in the country. When I got off the flight I felt a warm feeling on my left breast and thought that maybe I was still soar from surgery. Later that day I saw that the area was red and the redness carried down my breast toward the tumor. I was worried but I was determined not to freak out and knew I had some important things ahead of me. The following day were very important appointments and nothing was standing in my way. At the Bruzynski Clinic I was very impressed by their standard of practice and their process. The doctors were very nice, accomplished medical doctors (MD) and one of the doctors on the team was previously the chief of staff for John Hodgkins, so they had their conventional influence there as well. I learned a lot while I was there and I also decided to have some gentic testing done as well. The genetic testing is beyond the Brac 1 and Brac 2 and it included having my biopsy sample tested by Caris. Caris is the company that handles all genetic testing for tissue samples used exclusively by conventional medical institutions as well so these test were viable and could be used by any doctor that wanted to see more about me and my cancer. The testing wasn't cheap and neither was the visit but it was worth every penny. I was fortunate enough to have a fundraiser in my name that allowed me to supplement some of the cost and I implore you to do the same for someone else that may benefit from getting more information. Receiving good care and getting answers is something that every breathing person is capable of attaining, it is not just for those that can afford it. More to the point, the clinic requires a substantial payment up front should you consider their care plan. Here is the deal with this doctor, he has cured more people that have been sent home to die then the conventional medical community want to admit. He, like Dr. Gerson was ridiculed and was threatened with the revoking of his license to practice because he was utilizing alternative medicines and methods. Some admittingly are not approved by the FDA and therefore are his patent but because there is friction between both camps (alternative and conventional MD) and a collective effort cannot be made, we (the general public) have to make some difficult decisions about how we want to live or die. Part of the treatment plan for Dr. Bruzynski's patients is to take supplements. I was given supplements for my brain and my body to help lessen the toxicity of chemotherapy, I was thankful that I finally received some preventative care. Granted, these supplements are formulated and package by another company owned by Dr. Bruzynski but nonetheless, I was glad to be taking something formulated for exactly what I needed. Look, I am a business person, I know how questionable it seems when a doctor like Bruzynski requires payment up front, requires patients take his supplements (guarantee of additional revenue) and has medication unapproved by the FDA. But here are another group of facts, people that were sent home to die are LIVING because of him and they continue to do so for more than 35 years. These are indisputable facts and these are facts that the conventional can't seem to erase, although they may want to. Here is another morsile of information, these doctors wouldn't have a place in this paradym if it weren't for the fact that the medical community has provided one. If these doctors weren't providing results they would have been erased a long time ago. Cancer just doesn't disappear. There is work involved in killing this thing. Whether it be spiritual work, unorthodox tretaments, naturopathic, alternative and conventional, at some point you have to work towards getting better and doctors like Bruzynski are offering another way to work through this disease. I should note that he does utilize FDA approved medications as well and the prescrition they gave me included Herceptin, Tykerb and other FDA approved drugs including a low grade chemotherapy.
The genetic testing came back and gave a complete list of current chemotherapy drugs that would and would NOT work for me. I asked my oncologist to perform a chemosensitivity test on me so that we can be sure the current treatment prescribed is accurate for me (as an indivdual) and I was told that "that could not be done" and that I had to trust her. Yeah right! And if the doctor is wrong about the chemo cocktail, they'll end up being right because they prescribed what is considered 'standard of care' for a person in my condition and there is no way to tell whether I will be a responder. This is the BS they give you, there is this wait and see mentality that is so anger provoking becasue ther ARE test available that WILL disclose the types of chemicals I would respond to best, in my condition; this is clearly not the individualized care practice I was hoping for. If you know of anyone that is at a later stage of cancer or has a rare cancer, I recommend seeing S.R. Bruzynski - he meets with every new patient. If you know of anyone that has been sent home to die, please I urge you to send them to him. Getting back to the chain of events. The doctors at the Bruzynski clinic drew my blood for a series of other test and I left for my appointment to MD Anderson. We get to MD Anderson and the breast cancer center (an entire floor) is sworming with people in the waiting area. I looked at my husband and we both knew what the other was thinking..."what a business". MD Anderson as I mentioned is #1 in the nation, they are clearly a group of elite doctors and have practices that few can match. However, they are also heavily funded and receive large amounts of grants for research which skews their ranking in my book. Anytime any company is front loaded it will grab a large percentage of market share. Lets use for example a company like Starbucks. Starbuck opened hundreds of stores and it appeared they were on every street corner and they practically were. Naturally, if they positioned themselves to be almost everywhere then they would grab almost everyone that ever wanted anything to drink (market share), especially coffee. As long as MD Anderson continues to get heavy funding they will maintain their positon because they can afford the technology and talent that is required, this isnt to say that they aren't doing great things. I was thoughrouly impressed with the doctors' presentation, she was very impressive with her answers to most of my questions. I know that when its time for surgery I will have either MD Anderson perform surgery of Cancer Treatment Centers of America (I'll get to them later). As I continued my interview she examined my breast and I explained the redness that recently developed. She confirmed it was infection, she gave me a prescription of antibiotic aand told me to watch it for the next two days, if I got a fever i needed to call right away. She also explained that the sentinel node biopsy is something they often see coming out of Florida (where I live) and is not a common practice at their center. GREAT!!!!!!! Now I'm really worried about what else I may be subjected to with the care I'm receiving. It's Friday now and my husband and I dont leave until Monday afternoon. We decided to stay longer so we can get a feel for the area and my husband can interview for a few jobs in the event that my surgery is done there. Thank God we stayed. Friday I start running a low temperature of 99.7, no big deal, I'm not feeling very string but I'll make it. On Saturday the scar is so red and tender to the touch, it doesn't look like it's healing and I have a fever of 100.9, I call the doctor. She tells me that if the temperture rises past 101.0F I am to rush to emergency, give the antibiotic a chance to work. Sunday, I feel something wet under my arm. Its 6:30am and I'm a little freaked out, I slowly get out of bed so not to wake my husband who was up takinig care of me all night, I check my temp and I'm at 99.0 (what a relief) but I'm wet under the arm so I make my way to the bathroom. When I look at my pajama shirt it was stained, I lift it and the incision is open. The infection was so bad that the skin ripped open on its own and was leaking puss everywhere. I get to the emergency room and was admitted. The surgeon takes a look at me and discloses that the sentinel node procedure is not something they recommend doing at their hospital because it compromises an already compromised body, especially if I am to undergo chemotherapy. He further stated that since I was already scheduled for chemo the chemo would have addressed the infected lymph node and the rest of my body for that matter and by leaving my lymph nodes in place they could at least ensured that my body wouldn't have to contend with anything else other than adjust to the chemo and stay strong, rather than have to heal from surgery. It gets better...He goes on to say that they would have WAITED at least one-two weeks after the port placement surgery to administer chemotherapy because having chemo 2 days after surgery did not give me anytime to heal on my own! - Infact it SLOWED my healing down...guess my doctor didn't think that important. Do you know I asked that question to my doctors and they said it was fine. You know, everyone has issues when they have a medical condition and while I can admit that every doctor has a different set of practices, sometimes its best to go to facilities such as this so that the common sense stuff isn't something you are tripping over. At the end of all this, we came home, chemo was delayed 4 weeks, I was given Herceptin (antibody therapy) in between and a shot of zoladex (synthetic hormone therapy- HRT) to prevent my over production of estrogen and now I am here typing this. I received my second dose of chemotherapy 11 days ago. The 7 days after chemo are horrible for me. I am filled with so much fatigue, not even drugs can keep me asleep. My stomach is turned upside down, I can't concentrate on much (chemo brain) and all I want to do is crawl out of my skin because it feels like I'm burned inside. I promised myself this much, I am doing this to shrink the tumor, once that has been accomplished I will begin the Gerson Therapy and take this bull by the horns. I am not interested in the drive through cancer treatment menu selection. I am not interested in returning to the old me and I am not interested in putting my body throught more hell. I dont care what anyone says. The worst part of this is that the entire week I was feeling like shit so were my sons. My 2 year old was inconsoleable all week long, he had so much restlessness, I felt terrible for him because he couldn't explain it. Once mommy was better, he was better.
I can tell you this, I have been in psychological, emotional and spiritual treatment since December and I feel like a different person but I also know that there is a lot more shedding that needs to take place. My tumor has shrunk almost 3 cm and it is not due to the chemo or the herceptin entirely. As a matter of fact the 3 cm difference was measured before the 2nd chemo treatment, this was greatly due to the medical Qigong I am under going and the spiritual work I am doing. I have learned something really important. When we pray, we dont have to pray outloud or up toward the heavens. God lives inside of us, just as it states in the word (funny, I just way the word "word" and I remebered what I wrote earlier), God's words are ALIVE in us. All we have to do is remove the many layers of cloth that covers him up inside of us. The layers of guilt, sadness, disappointment, anger, betrayal, fear, uncertainty, distrust, adultry, rape,self doubt, lack of self worth, the list is endless, the cloths or layers are mounds and mounds of layers. Years of feelings that wedge themselves between us and him, separate us from the people we were when we were young children before we were tainted by lifes trials. If you think back when you young before all these feeling got in your way, who were you? what made you, you?- I've learned that that is the me that needs to speak to him. That is the me that needs to take my cancer and give it to him and say here, I don't know what to do with this but if you teach me I will follow. Simply put, cancer and illness comes because your spirit is ill, all those layers are sufficating, they create a toxic environment and the closer we get to the truth, the more honest and transparent we are with ourselves and with God the easier it is to get well. The easier it is to feel full and be fullfilled. A study performed by the Center of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) exclaimed that 80%-85% of an individuals emotional state affects their health and can lead to or cause chronic illness, as stated by the National Cancer Society.
Stress
Toxic stress is internal or external influences that disrupt an individual’s normal state of well-being. These influences are capable of affecting health by causing emotional distress and leading to a variety of physiological changes. These changes include increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and a dramatic rise in hormone levels.results from adverse experiences that may be sustained for a long period of time. This type of stress can disrupt early brain development, compromise the functioning of important biological systems, and lead to long-term health problems.(CDC Study, 2008)
Yes our food and the contaminants in them make a world of a difference to our health but the one thing we can control, what we can cultivate and make beautiful is our spirits, is our hearts. The smallest things use to take so much out of me. I stopped listening to music and for me that was huge because once upon a time I was a professional singer and music was my escape. I didn't find pleasure in sitting outside like I use to. Life just got a hold of me and although I looked like I was having a good time I was heavy in my heart. I wasn't without pressure, I wasn't free. Freedom and the readiness to choose to be filled with love is the most valuable thing any of us can possess. its what we teach our kids when they are young and then we forget to reteach ourselves. I'm learning to love myself again, to love my environment and to love people. I have no hair, my eyebrows are gone, I've lost 13lbs since all this started and yet everytime I am in public I see people look at me and they know I am sick. I am a young woman and I am sick, and dispite what rationale they may use to conclude in their minds why I am sick, I smile at them so that they know I am well :). On the inside I am getting well. On the inside I can't remember being this close to the real me, the happy me. I have a long way to go but I'm going. It's unfortunate that cancer has to be my chaperone but I pray to God that the spirit he gave me does not go to waist at the hands of any chemotherapy, any cancer, any surgery or any drugs and that he allows me the time I need to remove the layers so I can get to him and I get to see myself as he made me. Happy!
Resources
1. Sloan Ketterin, MD Anderson, Practice Change: Sentinel Node Removal at Breast Surgery for Breast Cancer. Retrieved March 7, 2011. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbcgTKf0WCU
2. Center of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The Effects of Childhood Stress on Health Across the Lifespan. Retrieved March 7, 2011. http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/pub-res/pdf/Childhood_Stress.pdf
3. Bruzynski Clinic. http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/
4. Fluoride Action Network. http://www.fluoridealert.org/
5. The Gerson Therapy
On January 4, 2011 I had a sentinel node biopsy of my anxillary node (on my left side). The doctors saw in my PET scan that one lymph node was active and my medical oncologist was 99% certain it was cancer, she was right. Since my lymph node was involved that pushed me into stage III of Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC). They removed two nodes during surgery because the second looked suspicious, still til this day I never received a straight answer on the second node, but I am grateful that they only removed two and not more. Why? The lymphatic system of the human body sole purpose is to assist our body to drain toxins and fluids up through our circulatory system and through lymphatic system, down our arms and out. Now, my question was- out of where? Out from where? Believe it or not no one really knows and when I say no one I mean the medical community. This isn't a bashing so hold on to your boot straps. My mother has told me that when I was a little girl I was always asking "why?" and she would ask me if I had an OFF switch (apparently my questioning was quite excessive- funny, I am living that same feeling now with my 2 year old :)). Til this day I can answer NO to that question and I can admit that I remain insistant on asking "Why?".
So naturally, I asked "where do these toxins and fluids go?" and I was told "out". So if "out" is a space that is unknown and just accepted and science has acknowledged that there is matter than we can not see or touch, why can't they wrap their heads around the practices of naturopathy, around whole body treatment. Why are we accepting that they be so closed off? I'm not rambling, there is a point to this. Once I realized the importance of my lymphatic system I started to question the mastectomy portion of my treatment plan because it includes the removal of two of the three layers of my lymphatic system on my left side, which can begin with 15 or more nodes. Once the lymphs are removed there is a 15% chance that I can suffer from lymphadema, which is the swelling of the entire arm and a full arm brace is required whenever lifting moderate to heavy loads. As I think to myself I say... well, the only loads I could immediately think of were my children! The oldest is 2yrs and he weighs 37lbs and the 10 month old is 27lbs- these are solid kids, so that would mean that I would have to be extra cautious or seldom lift my children...this is CRAP!!! Moving on... Furthermore, whenever a person who has had this type of surgery travels on an airplane, he/she must cover the arm that is compromised and should an infection from a cut or bruise effect the arm, an immediate visit to the emergency room is mandatory. Ok, well there is only a 15% chance and that's pretty low, right? Well, the reality is that even if you don't suffer from lymphedema (swelling of the arm), everything else I described applies. Do you see how at first its misleading. This means that even if you never experience the swelling of the arm- any bruising, infection, traveling in high altitudes and lifting are all areas of concern and should not be taking lightly, for the remainder of your life. Last, anyone with a compromised lymphatic system is much more suseptible to all kinds of illnesses and infections due to the fact that your body in functioning at 60% (estimated); the lymph nodes under the arm are that important. I was also informed that taking blood from my left arm is no longer advised and I only had two nodes removed. Remember, the purpose of having the lymph nodes removed is to ensure or lessen the probability of cancer returning- in the event there are cells in the nodes the couldn't see. Well, if you can't see it with your scans then maybe the use of thermography could assist in the investigation of cells that may go undetected...hmmmmm? So frustrating.
Recently, I read an article in a creditable medical journal published by a team of doctors from Sloan Ketterin and MD Anderson that disclosed their latest study regarding lymph node removal during breast surgery for cancer patients. The article concluded that the probability of cancer returning amongst people who have had their lymph nodes removed fare less favorable (by 1%) to that of people that have not had their lymph nodes removed. That is to say, the study explained that within the test group the chances of cancer returning for those with their lymph nodes removed verses those with their nodes intact (not taken out) after a period five years was less than 1% and infact, the woman with their nodes rated higher in survival by 1%. The difference is marginal when you look at the group as a whole but the point I am making is that the removal of the uninfiltrated lymph nodes is unnecessary in most cases. I am so glad this study has been done becuase it was very unsettling for me to accept that part of my body would be removed with out reason. I argued the fact as soon as I was told that this was part of my bilateral mastectomy. It didn't make sense to me, I know I am not a doctor but if no other lymph nodes showed concern in my scan prior to surgery, why remove them, especially knowing how important they are. You see it is my belief that the body shouldn't be treated like the experimental frog in the biology 101 class in high school with respects to justifying what we can and cannot do without. Everything has its purpose and it is in place for a reason. We have become a society of convenience and have disregarded our own bodies and their importance. If we don't like our breast, we change them, if our rear ends aren't big enough we enlarge, if our teeth aren't white enough we bleach them. Did you know that even the fluoride in our drinking water and in our tooth paste has been linked to brain defects and slowed intellegence in our young children? A recent study EXPOSED that fluoride has a marginal (less than 1%) benefit to fighting cavities. The invention of fluoride and the marketing tactic behind the addition of fluoride into out water system was because of its "GREAT BENEFITS" when infact the producers knew all along that ingesting this low grade toxin over time would or could be hazardous. There is an effort now to ban the use of fluoride in the city water system, each city has its own petition, please look it up- I will leave the link below. What an amazing marketing ploy, very successful I might add. So successful that every municipality in the USA (almost) is a customer...WOW!!
The goal in the treatment of cancer should be to preserve and build up the immune system before you remove or do harm. With all the wealth of knowledge that we as people, as professionals and as a medical community have, why have we chosen to mustard gas (known form of cytotoxin first used as chemical warfar by the Germans in 1917) ourselves through chemotherapy and surgeries? Naturopathic medicine, chinese medicine, botany, herbology, etc.has been with us for centuries in one form or another. Why aren't we doing better? Better said, why aren't our doctors working together? I wish their was a team of doctors from each discipline that would form a panel. A team that would take to the research lab and utilize all their knowledge of the natural sciences and conventional and genetics and kind a cure!! Do you remember when you were a child and you would dream up great scenarios? I find myself there everytime I prepare for chemotherapy and recently more so than usual after losing a dear friend last week to lung cancer. This monster is killing people everyday! Although the name of the game here is to stay positive, there isn't one cancer warrior I know that doesn't wonder if his or her name will be on a gravestone next. I know I have. I look at my son's and I pray that they won't have to look at pictures of me to recall who I am or hear stories about the things I did. This is the reality about having a deadly disease and after the treatment is over and I believe I will be blessed to be one of the people "in remission", I will have the next 10 years of my life to wonder if the next doctors' visit will reveal anything that I DON'T want to hear. Nevertheless, I continue to believe that this an opportunity to be reborn and nothing more. There are people who have made great achievements in cancer that we should all know about and research for ourselves.
Dr. Max Gerson attempted to share his discovering for the CURE for cancer in 1944 but when it came time for him to present his finding to the congressional committe to cure cancer of which consisted of a few doctors turned senator, the number of media that were to cover the story and publicize his great work found themselves instead at a well positioned gala that day, sponsored by a few pharaceutical and medical community leaders instead. The findings were kept under very low profile and Dr. Gerson's professionalism questioned. If you don't know this story don't worry, I didn't know it either until someone shared with me on the comments section of this blog, I encourgae you to do the same. This therapy (The Gerson Therapy) is not just for cancer, it is for any and practically all aliments ranging from asthma, arthritis, diabetes, thyroid, and cancer. If you want to learn about true balance of the body and enzymes then start here; Dr. Gerson was one of the first pioneers. Back to January 4, 2011.
I had surgery. My port was placed into the right side of my chest and I was ready for chemo. The port is a small plastic triangle shaped disc that is placed just below the surface of the skin, above the chest muscle. Attached is a small, thin, plastic tube that follows along the main vascular flow at the center of your chest. When the chemo and the Herceptin is administered it flows through the tube and into your body. After this was completed I had my first chemotherapy treatment on January 6, 2011. As I look back on it, I can tell you that I was scared and I was scared-into doing it. Frankly, up until a few days ago I was scared-into doing it. My tumor grew so fast in such a short period of three and a half weeks that I was affraid I wouldn't make it. I wish the tumor didn't grow so fast, I would have made some different decisions but... it did and I did what I felt was necessary. On January 13, 2011 I went into my doctors office with a low grade fever and I was feeling horrible. My liver was throbbing and my legs were aching and my white blood cell count was too low, so they gave me a shot of Neulasta. Neulasta forces the body to produce new white blood cells, which are produced through the bone. Naturally,this is a longer process becuase the body will produce red blood cells as well and so the white blood cells have to 'wait their turn' so to speak. This was not something I was capable of waiting for so I was given the shot. Little did I know that the low white blood cell count was due to something else. I was getting an infection. Fast forward to January 19, 2011. I have a mask on and I am on a flight out to Houston, TX to meet with a very high profile alternative genetic research doctor named S.R. Bruzynski (Bruzynski Clinic) and later with the conventional MD Anderson, rated #1 in the country. When I got off the flight I felt a warm feeling on my left breast and thought that maybe I was still soar from surgery. Later that day I saw that the area was red and the redness carried down my breast toward the tumor. I was worried but I was determined not to freak out and knew I had some important things ahead of me. The following day were very important appointments and nothing was standing in my way. At the Bruzynski Clinic I was very impressed by their standard of practice and their process. The doctors were very nice, accomplished medical doctors (MD) and one of the doctors on the team was previously the chief of staff for John Hodgkins, so they had their conventional influence there as well. I learned a lot while I was there and I also decided to have some gentic testing done as well. The genetic testing is beyond the Brac 1 and Brac 2 and it included having my biopsy sample tested by Caris. Caris is the company that handles all genetic testing for tissue samples used exclusively by conventional medical institutions as well so these test were viable and could be used by any doctor that wanted to see more about me and my cancer. The testing wasn't cheap and neither was the visit but it was worth every penny. I was fortunate enough to have a fundraiser in my name that allowed me to supplement some of the cost and I implore you to do the same for someone else that may benefit from getting more information. Receiving good care and getting answers is something that every breathing person is capable of attaining, it is not just for those that can afford it. More to the point, the clinic requires a substantial payment up front should you consider their care plan. Here is the deal with this doctor, he has cured more people that have been sent home to die then the conventional medical community want to admit. He, like Dr. Gerson was ridiculed and was threatened with the revoking of his license to practice because he was utilizing alternative medicines and methods. Some admittingly are not approved by the FDA and therefore are his patent but because there is friction between both camps (alternative and conventional MD) and a collective effort cannot be made, we (the general public) have to make some difficult decisions about how we want to live or die. Part of the treatment plan for Dr. Bruzynski's patients is to take supplements. I was given supplements for my brain and my body to help lessen the toxicity of chemotherapy, I was thankful that I finally received some preventative care. Granted, these supplements are formulated and package by another company owned by Dr. Bruzynski but nonetheless, I was glad to be taking something formulated for exactly what I needed. Look, I am a business person, I know how questionable it seems when a doctor like Bruzynski requires payment up front, requires patients take his supplements (guarantee of additional revenue) and has medication unapproved by the FDA. But here are another group of facts, people that were sent home to die are LIVING because of him and they continue to do so for more than 35 years. These are indisputable facts and these are facts that the conventional can't seem to erase, although they may want to. Here is another morsile of information, these doctors wouldn't have a place in this paradym if it weren't for the fact that the medical community has provided one. If these doctors weren't providing results they would have been erased a long time ago. Cancer just doesn't disappear. There is work involved in killing this thing. Whether it be spiritual work, unorthodox tretaments, naturopathic, alternative and conventional, at some point you have to work towards getting better and doctors like Bruzynski are offering another way to work through this disease. I should note that he does utilize FDA approved medications as well and the prescrition they gave me included Herceptin, Tykerb and other FDA approved drugs including a low grade chemotherapy.
The genetic testing came back and gave a complete list of current chemotherapy drugs that would and would NOT work for me. I asked my oncologist to perform a chemosensitivity test on me so that we can be sure the current treatment prescribed is accurate for me (as an indivdual) and I was told that "that could not be done" and that I had to trust her. Yeah right! And if the doctor is wrong about the chemo cocktail, they'll end up being right because they prescribed what is considered 'standard of care' for a person in my condition and there is no way to tell whether I will be a responder. This is the BS they give you, there is this wait and see mentality that is so anger provoking becasue ther ARE test available that WILL disclose the types of chemicals I would respond to best, in my condition; this is clearly not the individualized care practice I was hoping for. If you know of anyone that is at a later stage of cancer or has a rare cancer, I recommend seeing S.R. Bruzynski - he meets with every new patient. If you know of anyone that has been sent home to die, please I urge you to send them to him. Getting back to the chain of events. The doctors at the Bruzynski clinic drew my blood for a series of other test and I left for my appointment to MD Anderson. We get to MD Anderson and the breast cancer center (an entire floor) is sworming with people in the waiting area. I looked at my husband and we both knew what the other was thinking..."what a business". MD Anderson as I mentioned is #1 in the nation, they are clearly a group of elite doctors and have practices that few can match. However, they are also heavily funded and receive large amounts of grants for research which skews their ranking in my book. Anytime any company is front loaded it will grab a large percentage of market share. Lets use for example a company like Starbucks. Starbuck opened hundreds of stores and it appeared they were on every street corner and they practically were. Naturally, if they positioned themselves to be almost everywhere then they would grab almost everyone that ever wanted anything to drink (market share), especially coffee. As long as MD Anderson continues to get heavy funding they will maintain their positon because they can afford the technology and talent that is required, this isnt to say that they aren't doing great things. I was thoughrouly impressed with the doctors' presentation, she was very impressive with her answers to most of my questions. I know that when its time for surgery I will have either MD Anderson perform surgery of Cancer Treatment Centers of America (I'll get to them later). As I continued my interview she examined my breast and I explained the redness that recently developed. She confirmed it was infection, she gave me a prescription of antibiotic aand told me to watch it for the next two days, if I got a fever i needed to call right away. She also explained that the sentinel node biopsy is something they often see coming out of Florida (where I live) and is not a common practice at their center. GREAT!!!!!!! Now I'm really worried about what else I may be subjected to with the care I'm receiving. It's Friday now and my husband and I dont leave until Monday afternoon. We decided to stay longer so we can get a feel for the area and my husband can interview for a few jobs in the event that my surgery is done there. Thank God we stayed. Friday I start running a low temperature of 99.7, no big deal, I'm not feeling very string but I'll make it. On Saturday the scar is so red and tender to the touch, it doesn't look like it's healing and I have a fever of 100.9, I call the doctor. She tells me that if the temperture rises past 101.0F I am to rush to emergency, give the antibiotic a chance to work. Sunday, I feel something wet under my arm. Its 6:30am and I'm a little freaked out, I slowly get out of bed so not to wake my husband who was up takinig care of me all night, I check my temp and I'm at 99.0 (what a relief) but I'm wet under the arm so I make my way to the bathroom. When I look at my pajama shirt it was stained, I lift it and the incision is open. The infection was so bad that the skin ripped open on its own and was leaking puss everywhere. I get to the emergency room and was admitted. The surgeon takes a look at me and discloses that the sentinel node procedure is not something they recommend doing at their hospital because it compromises an already compromised body, especially if I am to undergo chemotherapy. He further stated that since I was already scheduled for chemo the chemo would have addressed the infected lymph node and the rest of my body for that matter and by leaving my lymph nodes in place they could at least ensured that my body wouldn't have to contend with anything else other than adjust to the chemo and stay strong, rather than have to heal from surgery. It gets better...He goes on to say that they would have WAITED at least one-two weeks after the port placement surgery to administer chemotherapy because having chemo 2 days after surgery did not give me anytime to heal on my own! - Infact it SLOWED my healing down...guess my doctor didn't think that important. Do you know I asked that question to my doctors and they said it was fine. You know, everyone has issues when they have a medical condition and while I can admit that every doctor has a different set of practices, sometimes its best to go to facilities such as this so that the common sense stuff isn't something you are tripping over. At the end of all this, we came home, chemo was delayed 4 weeks, I was given Herceptin (antibody therapy) in between and a shot of zoladex (synthetic hormone therapy- HRT) to prevent my over production of estrogen and now I am here typing this. I received my second dose of chemotherapy 11 days ago. The 7 days after chemo are horrible for me. I am filled with so much fatigue, not even drugs can keep me asleep. My stomach is turned upside down, I can't concentrate on much (chemo brain) and all I want to do is crawl out of my skin because it feels like I'm burned inside. I promised myself this much, I am doing this to shrink the tumor, once that has been accomplished I will begin the Gerson Therapy and take this bull by the horns. I am not interested in the drive through cancer treatment menu selection. I am not interested in returning to the old me and I am not interested in putting my body throught more hell. I dont care what anyone says. The worst part of this is that the entire week I was feeling like shit so were my sons. My 2 year old was inconsoleable all week long, he had so much restlessness, I felt terrible for him because he couldn't explain it. Once mommy was better, he was better.
I can tell you this, I have been in psychological, emotional and spiritual treatment since December and I feel like a different person but I also know that there is a lot more shedding that needs to take place. My tumor has shrunk almost 3 cm and it is not due to the chemo or the herceptin entirely. As a matter of fact the 3 cm difference was measured before the 2nd chemo treatment, this was greatly due to the medical Qigong I am under going and the spiritual work I am doing. I have learned something really important. When we pray, we dont have to pray outloud or up toward the heavens. God lives inside of us, just as it states in the word (funny, I just way the word "word" and I remebered what I wrote earlier), God's words are ALIVE in us. All we have to do is remove the many layers of cloth that covers him up inside of us. The layers of guilt, sadness, disappointment, anger, betrayal, fear, uncertainty, distrust, adultry, rape,self doubt, lack of self worth, the list is endless, the cloths or layers are mounds and mounds of layers. Years of feelings that wedge themselves between us and him, separate us from the people we were when we were young children before we were tainted by lifes trials. If you think back when you young before all these feeling got in your way, who were you? what made you, you?- I've learned that that is the me that needs to speak to him. That is the me that needs to take my cancer and give it to him and say here, I don't know what to do with this but if you teach me I will follow. Simply put, cancer and illness comes because your spirit is ill, all those layers are sufficating, they create a toxic environment and the closer we get to the truth, the more honest and transparent we are with ourselves and with God the easier it is to get well. The easier it is to feel full and be fullfilled. A study performed by the Center of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) exclaimed that 80%-85% of an individuals emotional state affects their health and can lead to or cause chronic illness, as stated by the National Cancer Society.
Stress
Toxic stress is internal or external influences that disrupt an individual’s normal state of well-being. These influences are capable of affecting health by causing emotional distress and leading to a variety of physiological changes. These changes include increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and a dramatic rise in hormone levels.results from adverse experiences that may be sustained for a long period of time. This type of stress can disrupt early brain development, compromise the functioning of important biological systems, and lead to long-term health problems.(CDC Study, 2008)
Yes our food and the contaminants in them make a world of a difference to our health but the one thing we can control, what we can cultivate and make beautiful is our spirits, is our hearts. The smallest things use to take so much out of me. I stopped listening to music and for me that was huge because once upon a time I was a professional singer and music was my escape. I didn't find pleasure in sitting outside like I use to. Life just got a hold of me and although I looked like I was having a good time I was heavy in my heart. I wasn't without pressure, I wasn't free. Freedom and the readiness to choose to be filled with love is the most valuable thing any of us can possess. its what we teach our kids when they are young and then we forget to reteach ourselves. I'm learning to love myself again, to love my environment and to love people. I have no hair, my eyebrows are gone, I've lost 13lbs since all this started and yet everytime I am in public I see people look at me and they know I am sick. I am a young woman and I am sick, and dispite what rationale they may use to conclude in their minds why I am sick, I smile at them so that they know I am well :). On the inside I am getting well. On the inside I can't remember being this close to the real me, the happy me. I have a long way to go but I'm going. It's unfortunate that cancer has to be my chaperone but I pray to God that the spirit he gave me does not go to waist at the hands of any chemotherapy, any cancer, any surgery or any drugs and that he allows me the time I need to remove the layers so I can get to him and I get to see myself as he made me. Happy!
Resources
1. Sloan Ketterin, MD Anderson, Practice Change: Sentinel Node Removal at Breast Surgery for Breast Cancer. Retrieved March 7, 2011. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbcgTKf0WCU
2. Center of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The Effects of Childhood Stress on Health Across the Lifespan. Retrieved March 7, 2011. http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/pub-res/pdf/Childhood_Stress.pdf
3. Bruzynski Clinic. http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/
4. Fluoride Action Network. http://www.fluoridealert.org/
5. The Gerson Therapy
Friday, January 14, 2011
Why "I" have Cancer.....
Well Everyone my first Chemotherapy treatment was officially 7 days ago. Before I recollect the last week, I want to tell you all that my experience with this treatment is specific to me and may not be what other people report. In addition, my experience is very personal and some of you may or may not like what I have to say. I ask that you have an open spirit. Notice I did not say mind or heart. I am asking for you to read these next few passages with love, find the "you" that maybe few people know or the "you" that you may not share often, or the "you" that everyone knows. If you are one of the later people, you rock and keep up the good work! I am learning that the real "YOU" is what the heavens want to shine above anything else you can possibly do here on earth. So here we go.
I haven't written in almost 10 days because my life has been turned upside down. Not an unfamiliar feeling for me but this time its different. More than just chemotherapy, there have been other toxic substances that I have had to familiarize myself with both within my body (physiologically) and externally (i.e. relationships). Lets begin with the chemo, shall we.
Thursday, January 6, 2011:
Exactly one month after my diagnosis, I am sitting in a 10 x 11 room. The walls are a pale yellow, the chair rail is a teal and there are three wall ornaments of angels scattered on the wall behind the nurses desk. I am sitting in a teal recliner and there are 6 recliners just like mine in the room to keep me company. Attached to the recliners is an intravenous (IV) medical stand (IV pole) and to the left are pillows and warm blankets for us to use and make ourselves comfortable. As I enter the room the nurse greets me with a supporting smile and asked me if I am ready. What a loaded question. Of course, I answer "Yes, I'm ready", and I was. I had spent the last few days accepting that I had to do something because as my doctor told me "cancer will not wait for you". It was a very profound statement for both me and my family and friends who were with me on that visit; we all stopped and looked at each other. All that to say, my doctor was right and on Jan. 6, 2011 I was ready. However......
As I sit down, there is a woman in her late 40's maybe early 50's sitting across from me and you can see in her eyes that she is a very pleasant person. She smiles and I have officially entered into a new group. In a matter of 10 minutes the room fills up and all 6 chairs are full, other women come in and have to be sent to the other room in the back of the office. In the 8 hours I was there (I'll explain why it was so long) those chairs turned 10 chemotherapy patients, not to mention the back room that has a few chairs as well.
Two days prior (Jan.4) I went in for my port placement. The port is a catheter that is inserted just below your skin, very small in size, palpable-the size of the first part (tip) of your pointer finger. Attached to that is a small tube that draws the medicine into your body, directly into your vein in the center of your body. I also has a sentinel node biopsy done because in my scans in mid December a lymph node showed characteristics of cancer. Sure enough, The sentinel node biopsy that was performed nearly three weeks after my original PET scan exposed TWO nodes. That means that the cancer either entered the second lymph node during the scans (three weeks prior) and it was so microscopic that the radioactive isotope didn't attract the cancer enough for it to light up on the scan OR, the cancer was spreading fast and the second node was infiltrated in a matter of three weeks. I was glad that I had that biopsy and I was glad to have the port placed and I was ready for treatment. Now, let me be honest with you, I never agreed with what this type of therapy does to the body. I was against it from the start. I knew that I had to find another way to beat this. The problem is that my cancer was now at stage 3, I have two babies at home (2 years and 9 months), I had to do something that would give me a fighting chance and give me time.
The nurse gets me ready for all my anti nausea medication and she can't seem to access my port. Access meaning that when she tries to draw blood and/or administer medication the tube won't let anything pass through. She tries again, nothing. She asks me if she can remove the needle access they left ready for her from surgery so to make it less painful for me. I agree, and it was uncomfortable and painful. she tries a new needle and tries again...nothing. She has me lay down and BINGO, it works. At this point I'm thinking, maybe this is a sign. Maybe this isn't for me....run, run like hell!!!! Of course I didn't, but I wanted to. My doctor comes in and says, "lets access her through the hand and we'll address the port later,....I don't understand why this happened, I've never had a problem with the port XYZ doctor has placed before, and he's been doing them for my patients for years". GREAT! Now I'm really thinking... "God is talking to you, make up some rational arguement, you're very good at that, and just leave." "Maybe this is the time you needed?" Well, I didn't. I stayed like a good girl because I knew in my spirit that I had to do this. I asked myself, the real me, not the business me, not the scared me, not the mother or wife, friend or daughter. I asked myself what do "you" want to do? Do you know what I heard?...."There is something else for you but you must do this now", and so I did.
After the anti-nausea medications and steroids (of course the nurse kept explaining it as anti-nausea but they were steroids and to a layman, one would think that they were nothing more than medications to prevent you from vomiting), the real drugs began. Herceptin, because I am ER/PR positive and HER2 positive, was the first. When it was administered I just sat and prayed that God would protect my heart. The heart is one of the most effected by Herceptin, if effected at all. According to the list of side effects, it can cause congestive heart failure, weakening of the heart muscles and more. The link below will provide more information. I say if effected because according to what I've read and have been told by medical professionals, as you undergo treatment, if symptoms do not arise that indicate otherwise, the more you use Herceptin the less "likely" your heart will experience any effects. Hmmmm, does that sound right? I mean logically, yes. If you don't show signs of illness to your heart after 4-6 cycles then chances are "you're good", you are not going to suffer from any major heart problem. EXCEPT...if you do respond adversely during treatment it can be in the form of muscle failure, low blood pressure, or a massive heart attack! These are the only treatment options we are utilizing? Why? Why can't we help our bodies fight back? Why can't we push this out? Oh wait, I know because it makes money, because we are already so toxic inside from all the chemical we consume in our food and environment that the time we would need to cleanse ourselves and fight it would be too long and we'd loose the battle! This applies to people like me, people that have been diagnosed stage 3 and above. Time is not on our side. This may also apply to some people in stage 2 as well. Furthermore, it applies to people with more severe cancers like, pancreatic, lung, brain and colon. It also applies to people that have a small microcalcification in their breast and not a mass or tumor but for some reason it has metasticised into their bones. Well, if I'm doing the math correctly, this really applies to people who have found their cancer at a very infantile stage. Better said, preventative. In just a few sentences we went from stage 3 and 4 to zero, when discussing our ability to really fight this. Don't lose hope, there are answers. Its not as bleek as it may sound, I digress.
The second drug, Taxotere (Docetaxel)...monster. Taxotere is an antineoplastic/cytotoxin. In other words, they are anti-cancer drugs that lessen the blood flow to the tumor which the cancer utilizes to gain strength and grow.It is known as a antimicrotubule agent, its purpose is to stop cell division at mitosis, essentially stopping the cell from growing. I felt it enter my body and I immediately closed my eyes and envisioned it only traveling to the tumor because I didnt want it to run through my body and do whatever it wanted. If I was going to accept it into my body then I had to direct it, like a small child in a play ground. I had to rally all it characteristics and show it where to play; it was strong, my fingers and toes started to tingle. Now mind you, Taxotere side effects are nausea, hair loss, fluid retention, nail bed discoloration, peripheral neuropathy (finger and toes numbness), low white blood cell count, mouth soars and so on.
Last but not least, Carboplatin- 600 mg. I don't know if it was because it was the last drug administered but it left me feeling scared. Honestly, I told my husband and my mother (who were both there with me) that this was the mother of the three. Carboplatin (antineoplastic/cytotoxic) is very similar to the Taxotere side effects but it is an alkylating agent. Its side effects also include nephrotoxicity which is when the kidneys are poisoned and can not function as they should and can not release excess urine. This can also lead to renal failure or problems. Before undergoing treatment I did not get on the computer or ask my medical friends what these drugs were. I knew that if I did I wouldn't be able to concentrate on what had to be done. I would have been thinking about what was being done to my body. The day of treatment I received a photocopied list of the drugs and their side effects from the chemotherapy nurse. I did not read them when I got home. All I wanted to do was see my sons and rest.
2:30am, I wake up startled. I fell asleep with the side table lamp on (my husband hates when I do that), thank God I did. I opened my eyes and gasped for air. There is no exhaggeration here. My heart was pumping hard, my legs were throbbing and my kidneys felt like someone was squeezing them so tight and my lower back was so arthritic. I didnt know where to turn to gain relief, I didnt make a sound. I started to take small profound breaths, I didn't cry, even though I wanted to. I was so emotionally hurt above all, because all I could think about was "This is my body and I'm in pain..., I am so sorry". I kept breathing and when I could take deep breaths I began to pray. Since I was a young girl I have clinged to my relationshipship with God. There have been times in my young twenties where I forgot who I was, meaning I forgot God existed inside of me. We all have different belief systems but, this is my story and God is very much a part of this all.
As I am in prayer my husband is still sleeping and I didn't wake him because I needed my time with God. I knew prayer would help release me from the fear that was running through me. 2:45am, my oldest son wakes calling for me..."mama?". How did he know to send me my son so that I could change gears and give to my baby? Maybe to distract me while he was giving to me? Whatever the plan, it worked. I got out of bed and got my son and we stayed in bed and ate oatmeal and talked until 5am. He just wouldn't fall asleep no matter how much I pleaded :). Finally, at 5 am my husband and I and our oldest son fell asleep in the bed together and waited for our youngest son to wake us up in 2 hours :). I spent the next 5 days with aches, stomach pain and feeling very tired. My body was responding and I did my best to stay still. Anyone that knows me knows that it is VERY difficult for me to sit still. I knew what was happening to me but I had to concentrate on the positive. In the meantime, I continued with my acupuncture, medical Qigong, prayer and my antigeogenesis diet. You'll be happy to know the tumor has shrunk.
Here is some interesting information about genotoxic drugs.
Genotoxic drugs are chemotherapy agents that affect nucleic acids and alter their function. These drugs may directly bind to DNA or they may indirectly lead to DNA damage by affecting enzymes involved in DNA replication. Rapidly dividing cells are particularly sensitive to genotoxic agents because they are actively synthesizing new DNA. If enough damage is done to the DNA of a cell it will often undergo apoptosis, the equivalent of cellular suicide.
The genotoxic chemotherapy treatments include:
So what does that all mean? Well, as much as these drugs are built around killing the DNA of the cancer cell, they also kill DNA that helps us. There is no perfect formula. Some of us will make it and some will not. One thing we all have to remember, our bodies are built to heal, regenerate constantly and our bodies go through a DNA rebirth every 7 years! Therefore, if I am 35 now that means that I am now entering my rebirth. This is good. God didnt make any mistakes, our bodies are made to last a very, very long time. Take care of it and it will take care of you.
I haven't written in almost 10 days because my life has been turned upside down. Not an unfamiliar feeling for me but this time its different. More than just chemotherapy, there have been other toxic substances that I have had to familiarize myself with both within my body (physiologically) and externally (i.e. relationships). Lets begin with the chemo, shall we.
Thursday, January 6, 2011:
Exactly one month after my diagnosis, I am sitting in a 10 x 11 room. The walls are a pale yellow, the chair rail is a teal and there are three wall ornaments of angels scattered on the wall behind the nurses desk. I am sitting in a teal recliner and there are 6 recliners just like mine in the room to keep me company. Attached to the recliners is an intravenous (IV) medical stand (IV pole) and to the left are pillows and warm blankets for us to use and make ourselves comfortable. As I enter the room the nurse greets me with a supporting smile and asked me if I am ready. What a loaded question. Of course, I answer "Yes, I'm ready", and I was. I had spent the last few days accepting that I had to do something because as my doctor told me "cancer will not wait for you". It was a very profound statement for both me and my family and friends who were with me on that visit; we all stopped and looked at each other. All that to say, my doctor was right and on Jan. 6, 2011 I was ready. However......
As I sit down, there is a woman in her late 40's maybe early 50's sitting across from me and you can see in her eyes that she is a very pleasant person. She smiles and I have officially entered into a new group. In a matter of 10 minutes the room fills up and all 6 chairs are full, other women come in and have to be sent to the other room in the back of the office. In the 8 hours I was there (I'll explain why it was so long) those chairs turned 10 chemotherapy patients, not to mention the back room that has a few chairs as well.
Two days prior (Jan.4) I went in for my port placement. The port is a catheter that is inserted just below your skin, very small in size, palpable-the size of the first part (tip) of your pointer finger. Attached to that is a small tube that draws the medicine into your body, directly into your vein in the center of your body. I also has a sentinel node biopsy done because in my scans in mid December a lymph node showed characteristics of cancer. Sure enough, The sentinel node biopsy that was performed nearly three weeks after my original PET scan exposed TWO nodes. That means that the cancer either entered the second lymph node during the scans (three weeks prior) and it was so microscopic that the radioactive isotope didn't attract the cancer enough for it to light up on the scan OR, the cancer was spreading fast and the second node was infiltrated in a matter of three weeks. I was glad that I had that biopsy and I was glad to have the port placed and I was ready for treatment. Now, let me be honest with you, I never agreed with what this type of therapy does to the body. I was against it from the start. I knew that I had to find another way to beat this. The problem is that my cancer was now at stage 3, I have two babies at home (2 years and 9 months), I had to do something that would give me a fighting chance and give me time.
The nurse gets me ready for all my anti nausea medication and she can't seem to access my port. Access meaning that when she tries to draw blood and/or administer medication the tube won't let anything pass through. She tries again, nothing. She asks me if she can remove the needle access they left ready for her from surgery so to make it less painful for me. I agree, and it was uncomfortable and painful. she tries a new needle and tries again...nothing. She has me lay down and BINGO, it works. At this point I'm thinking, maybe this is a sign. Maybe this isn't for me....run, run like hell!!!! Of course I didn't, but I wanted to. My doctor comes in and says, "lets access her through the hand and we'll address the port later,....I don't understand why this happened, I've never had a problem with the port XYZ doctor has placed before, and he's been doing them for my patients for years". GREAT! Now I'm really thinking... "God is talking to you, make up some rational arguement, you're very good at that, and just leave." "Maybe this is the time you needed?" Well, I didn't. I stayed like a good girl because I knew in my spirit that I had to do this. I asked myself, the real me, not the business me, not the scared me, not the mother or wife, friend or daughter. I asked myself what do "you" want to do? Do you know what I heard?...."There is something else for you but you must do this now", and so I did.
After the anti-nausea medications and steroids (of course the nurse kept explaining it as anti-nausea but they were steroids and to a layman, one would think that they were nothing more than medications to prevent you from vomiting), the real drugs began. Herceptin, because I am ER/PR positive and HER2 positive, was the first. When it was administered I just sat and prayed that God would protect my heart. The heart is one of the most effected by Herceptin, if effected at all. According to the list of side effects, it can cause congestive heart failure, weakening of the heart muscles and more. The link below will provide more information. I say if effected because according to what I've read and have been told by medical professionals, as you undergo treatment, if symptoms do not arise that indicate otherwise, the more you use Herceptin the less "likely" your heart will experience any effects. Hmmmm, does that sound right? I mean logically, yes. If you don't show signs of illness to your heart after 4-6 cycles then chances are "you're good", you are not going to suffer from any major heart problem. EXCEPT...if you do respond adversely during treatment it can be in the form of muscle failure, low blood pressure, or a massive heart attack! These are the only treatment options we are utilizing? Why? Why can't we help our bodies fight back? Why can't we push this out? Oh wait, I know because it makes money, because we are already so toxic inside from all the chemical we consume in our food and environment that the time we would need to cleanse ourselves and fight it would be too long and we'd loose the battle! This applies to people like me, people that have been diagnosed stage 3 and above. Time is not on our side. This may also apply to some people in stage 2 as well. Furthermore, it applies to people with more severe cancers like, pancreatic, lung, brain and colon. It also applies to people that have a small microcalcification in their breast and not a mass or tumor but for some reason it has metasticised into their bones. Well, if I'm doing the math correctly, this really applies to people who have found their cancer at a very infantile stage. Better said, preventative. In just a few sentences we went from stage 3 and 4 to zero, when discussing our ability to really fight this. Don't lose hope, there are answers. Its not as bleek as it may sound, I digress.
The second drug, Taxotere (Docetaxel)...monster. Taxotere is an antineoplastic/cytotoxin. In other words, they are anti-cancer drugs that lessen the blood flow to the tumor which the cancer utilizes to gain strength and grow.It is known as a antimicrotubule agent, its purpose is to stop cell division at mitosis, essentially stopping the cell from growing. I felt it enter my body and I immediately closed my eyes and envisioned it only traveling to the tumor because I didnt want it to run through my body and do whatever it wanted. If I was going to accept it into my body then I had to direct it, like a small child in a play ground. I had to rally all it characteristics and show it where to play; it was strong, my fingers and toes started to tingle. Now mind you, Taxotere side effects are nausea, hair loss, fluid retention, nail bed discoloration, peripheral neuropathy (finger and toes numbness), low white blood cell count, mouth soars and so on.
Last but not least, Carboplatin- 600 mg. I don't know if it was because it was the last drug administered but it left me feeling scared. Honestly, I told my husband and my mother (who were both there with me) that this was the mother of the three. Carboplatin (antineoplastic/cytotoxic) is very similar to the Taxotere side effects but it is an alkylating agent. Its side effects also include nephrotoxicity which is when the kidneys are poisoned and can not function as they should and can not release excess urine. This can also lead to renal failure or problems. Before undergoing treatment I did not get on the computer or ask my medical friends what these drugs were. I knew that if I did I wouldn't be able to concentrate on what had to be done. I would have been thinking about what was being done to my body. The day of treatment I received a photocopied list of the drugs and their side effects from the chemotherapy nurse. I did not read them when I got home. All I wanted to do was see my sons and rest.
2:30am, I wake up startled. I fell asleep with the side table lamp on (my husband hates when I do that), thank God I did. I opened my eyes and gasped for air. There is no exhaggeration here. My heart was pumping hard, my legs were throbbing and my kidneys felt like someone was squeezing them so tight and my lower back was so arthritic. I didnt know where to turn to gain relief, I didnt make a sound. I started to take small profound breaths, I didn't cry, even though I wanted to. I was so emotionally hurt above all, because all I could think about was "This is my body and I'm in pain..., I am so sorry". I kept breathing and when I could take deep breaths I began to pray. Since I was a young girl I have clinged to my relationshipship with God. There have been times in my young twenties where I forgot who I was, meaning I forgot God existed inside of me. We all have different belief systems but, this is my story and God is very much a part of this all.
As I am in prayer my husband is still sleeping and I didn't wake him because I needed my time with God. I knew prayer would help release me from the fear that was running through me. 2:45am, my oldest son wakes calling for me..."mama?". How did he know to send me my son so that I could change gears and give to my baby? Maybe to distract me while he was giving to me? Whatever the plan, it worked. I got out of bed and got my son and we stayed in bed and ate oatmeal and talked until 5am. He just wouldn't fall asleep no matter how much I pleaded :). Finally, at 5 am my husband and I and our oldest son fell asleep in the bed together and waited for our youngest son to wake us up in 2 hours :). I spent the next 5 days with aches, stomach pain and feeling very tired. My body was responding and I did my best to stay still. Anyone that knows me knows that it is VERY difficult for me to sit still. I knew what was happening to me but I had to concentrate on the positive. In the meantime, I continued with my acupuncture, medical Qigong, prayer and my antigeogenesis diet. You'll be happy to know the tumor has shrunk.
Here is some interesting information about genotoxic drugs.
Genotoxic drugs are chemotherapy agents that affect nucleic acids and alter their function. These drugs may directly bind to DNA or they may indirectly lead to DNA damage by affecting enzymes involved in DNA replication. Rapidly dividing cells are particularly sensitive to genotoxic agents because they are actively synthesizing new DNA. If enough damage is done to the DNA of a cell it will often undergo apoptosis, the equivalent of cellular suicide.
The genotoxic chemotherapy treatments include:
- Alkylating agents: The first class of chemotherapy agents used. These drugs modify the bases of DNA, interfering with DNA replication and transcription and leading to mutations
- Intercalating agents: These drugs wedge themselves into the spaces between the nucleotides in the DNA double helix. They interfere with transcription, replication and induce mutations.
- Enzyme inhibitors: These drugs inhibit key enzymes, such as topoisomerases, involved in DNA replication inducing DNA damage.
So what does that all mean? Well, as much as these drugs are built around killing the DNA of the cancer cell, they also kill DNA that helps us. There is no perfect formula. Some of us will make it and some will not. One thing we all have to remember, our bodies are built to heal, regenerate constantly and our bodies go through a DNA rebirth every 7 years! Therefore, if I am 35 now that means that I am now entering my rebirth. This is good. God didnt make any mistakes, our bodies are made to last a very, very long time. Take care of it and it will take care of you.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
How can this be happening???
Before I begin I want to be clear, the information I share is from my own personal experience and from research I have gathered via reputable research analysis and articles/journals. I am exercising my freedom of speech and in no way am I claiming to be a medical professional. All of the information I discussed can be verified via websites and/or medical journals.
Early August 2010: After giving birth to my second child I began to feel very tired and sever aches in my hips and legs. I attributed this to my postpartum (4 months) and to the 3rd generation birth control I was taking, which will remain nameless but was in the news. The following month I decided to stop taking it; I was previously on the same contraceptive after delivering my first born in 2008 for a period of 8 months and remebered that it didn't agree with me then either. So why do it again?.... out of convenience.
Late October 2010: The symptoms started to subside and I chose to no longer take any form of contraceptive. Despite, the tiredness and difficulty sleeping persisted. Weeks later in my routine self breast exam I felt a lump in my left breast and I got scared. I didnt want to panic and so I calmly ste an appt. with my gynocologist (GYN). after she examined me she said.."I wouldn't worry about it, your tissue feels very dense and you just had a baby...lets get a mammography and ultrasound to be sure". One week prior to me seeing my new GYN I had gone for a thermography that showed massive blood flow in that breast. I went to the thermo scan because I didnt want to expose myself to any radiation due to the fact that I recently had a baby and my cells were still recovering; little did I know it wouldn't have made a difference.
A thermography is a non-invasive device that will scan your body and detect infrared, thermal heat or radiation on the electromagnetic spectrum (it reads the heat in your body). It can tell if there is an excess of blood flow in a particular area and will show a color mapping from blue (cool), to green, to yellow, to red and the white (hottest). My breast was covered in red. I knew then that I needed to go to the scheduled mammography.
Early November 2010: Mammography and ultrasound results are given to my doctor and she sits me down and proceeds to tell me..." I have never seen a report like this come back negative, I'm sorry to tell you that you have breast cancer".
I couldn't hear anything else she said except when she mentioned that she knew I was a mother of two young children (2yrs. and 6 month)...and then after she said that I cried like a child. How could this be happening? I don't have any health issues, I don't even have cavities! Ok, I don't eat as well as I use to but why? What did I do wrong?
December 2010: After visiting the surgical oncologist he declares that the mass needs to be biopsied. We biopsy and discover that I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC), the most common of breast cancers but the plot would thicken. My prognostic exam (showing the characteristics of the tumor- equivalent to its personality, if you will) shows that I am ER (estrogen) positive at 91%, PR (progesterone) positive 89% and Her2 (Herceptin) positive 3+ but my p53 was negative. what does this mean? It meant that although an ER and PR positive diagnosis existed which would typically make this cancer a slow grower, I has Her2 (Herceptin) positive and that would force this monster inside of me to be a fast growing tumor. The tumor is now 10 times its original size from late November and its in my lymph nodes.
Not Taking The Road of Immediate Satisfaction: Chemotherapy was prescribed, bilateral mastectomy, hysterectomy, more chemotherapy, radiation, Herceptin drug treatment for 1.5 years, Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and Anti-body therapy. Immediately, I began my own work. DeIpite the fact that I was late in the game and I would be a cancer patient at stage 3, I began to fight back. I am now on a high enzyme rich diet consisting of raw living foods (veggies, green and dark red veggies), no meat, coconut water, wheat grass twice daily, only Organic and more. Why?
Cancer feeds off of simple sugars (sugar, candy, fructose, white rice, white flour, soda, and even some high sugar fruits, etc...) but it can not metabolize protein, fats and complex carbohydrates (green leafy veggies). I had to slow this thing down. Cancer patients are also found to suffer from low vitamin D3 and their blood is typically thicker than healthy individuals. We all have cancer in our body, that is to say that our cells can transform to abnormal cell development at any time if our fighter cells refrain from functioning and doing their job. Naturally, herceptin is one of those fighter cells (protein) but the over production of that cell ("positive") will confuse the cells and change its original duty and begin assisting the abnormal development of the cancer cells hence, growing at a rapid pace. Going back to vitamin D3; this vitamin is generally produced via exposure to the sun. This is why newborns need to be exposed to the sun once a week for 20 minutes. Apparently so do adults. The D3 allows for bone health, it is life sustaining, provides immune support and has hormone like qualities that are processed through the kidneys and liver from cholecalciferol(D3) to produce D3 (calcitriol) and is then utilized by the body for protection and provide hormonal balance. People low in D3 can suffer from depression, back pain, pre-eclampsia during pregancy and cancer, just to name a few. Wow! Sure enough my blood work came back at 25, well below normal range.
Cancer also takes place when cells or genomes (genes) "shut off". These genomes are no longer functioing and cant support the body accordingly. This happens as we age and for that reason breast cancer was more common in woman and men in their 50's; claiming age was the major contributor. Later women at 40 were becoming affected and now women like myself in their early to mid 30's. But it doesnt stop there...young woman in their 20's are now facing the monster.
Why am I writing this? I have never read, let alone created a blog but something inside of me told me to TELL. Tell everything I am learning, tell everything I am doing and ask people to tell. Did you know that for some people coffee can cause a genome to shut off? It may have to do with the frequecy of its use or it could be the individuals sensitivity to the change in insulin level due to the bean, not the caffeine. I was guilty of that. So how do you know whether you're prone to getting cancer, excluding family history - which by the way, I have no family history of breast cancer. The best thing that I have learned to do is to have your blood evaluated. After my first son was born 2008 I mentioned to my girlfriend that I wanted to do a bioidentical analysis of my blood because I was seeking balance. I should have listened to my instincts...dont ignore your instincts, get answers!
I am not saying that is the end all and be all but its a good start. More to come....I have a lot to share. Wish me luck Chemotherapy starts in two days.
Early August 2010: After giving birth to my second child I began to feel very tired and sever aches in my hips and legs. I attributed this to my postpartum (4 months) and to the 3rd generation birth control I was taking, which will remain nameless but was in the news. The following month I decided to stop taking it; I was previously on the same contraceptive after delivering my first born in 2008 for a period of 8 months and remebered that it didn't agree with me then either. So why do it again?.... out of convenience.
Late October 2010: The symptoms started to subside and I chose to no longer take any form of contraceptive. Despite, the tiredness and difficulty sleeping persisted. Weeks later in my routine self breast exam I felt a lump in my left breast and I got scared. I didnt want to panic and so I calmly ste an appt. with my gynocologist (GYN). after she examined me she said.."I wouldn't worry about it, your tissue feels very dense and you just had a baby...lets get a mammography and ultrasound to be sure". One week prior to me seeing my new GYN I had gone for a thermography that showed massive blood flow in that breast. I went to the thermo scan because I didnt want to expose myself to any radiation due to the fact that I recently had a baby and my cells were still recovering; little did I know it wouldn't have made a difference.
A thermography is a non-invasive device that will scan your body and detect infrared, thermal heat or radiation on the electromagnetic spectrum (it reads the heat in your body). It can tell if there is an excess of blood flow in a particular area and will show a color mapping from blue (cool), to green, to yellow, to red and the white (hottest). My breast was covered in red. I knew then that I needed to go to the scheduled mammography.
Early November 2010: Mammography and ultrasound results are given to my doctor and she sits me down and proceeds to tell me..." I have never seen a report like this come back negative, I'm sorry to tell you that you have breast cancer".
I couldn't hear anything else she said except when she mentioned that she knew I was a mother of two young children (2yrs. and 6 month)...and then after she said that I cried like a child. How could this be happening? I don't have any health issues, I don't even have cavities! Ok, I don't eat as well as I use to but why? What did I do wrong?
December 2010: After visiting the surgical oncologist he declares that the mass needs to be biopsied. We biopsy and discover that I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC), the most common of breast cancers but the plot would thicken. My prognostic exam (showing the characteristics of the tumor- equivalent to its personality, if you will) shows that I am ER (estrogen) positive at 91%, PR (progesterone) positive 89% and Her2 (Herceptin) positive 3+ but my p53 was negative. what does this mean? It meant that although an ER and PR positive diagnosis existed which would typically make this cancer a slow grower, I has Her2 (Herceptin) positive and that would force this monster inside of me to be a fast growing tumor. The tumor is now 10 times its original size from late November and its in my lymph nodes.
Not Taking The Road of Immediate Satisfaction: Chemotherapy was prescribed, bilateral mastectomy, hysterectomy, more chemotherapy, radiation, Herceptin drug treatment for 1.5 years, Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and Anti-body therapy. Immediately, I began my own work. DeIpite the fact that I was late in the game and I would be a cancer patient at stage 3, I began to fight back. I am now on a high enzyme rich diet consisting of raw living foods (veggies, green and dark red veggies), no meat, coconut water, wheat grass twice daily, only Organic and more. Why?
Cancer feeds off of simple sugars (sugar, candy, fructose, white rice, white flour, soda, and even some high sugar fruits, etc...) but it can not metabolize protein, fats and complex carbohydrates (green leafy veggies). I had to slow this thing down. Cancer patients are also found to suffer from low vitamin D3 and their blood is typically thicker than healthy individuals. We all have cancer in our body, that is to say that our cells can transform to abnormal cell development at any time if our fighter cells refrain from functioning and doing their job. Naturally, herceptin is one of those fighter cells (protein) but the over production of that cell ("positive") will confuse the cells and change its original duty and begin assisting the abnormal development of the cancer cells hence, growing at a rapid pace. Going back to vitamin D3; this vitamin is generally produced via exposure to the sun. This is why newborns need to be exposed to the sun once a week for 20 minutes. Apparently so do adults. The D3 allows for bone health, it is life sustaining, provides immune support and has hormone like qualities that are processed through the kidneys and liver from cholecalciferol(D3) to produce D3 (calcitriol) and is then utilized by the body for protection and provide hormonal balance. People low in D3 can suffer from depression, back pain, pre-eclampsia during pregancy and cancer, just to name a few. Wow! Sure enough my blood work came back at 25, well below normal range.
Cancer also takes place when cells or genomes (genes) "shut off". These genomes are no longer functioing and cant support the body accordingly. This happens as we age and for that reason breast cancer was more common in woman and men in their 50's; claiming age was the major contributor. Later women at 40 were becoming affected and now women like myself in their early to mid 30's. But it doesnt stop there...young woman in their 20's are now facing the monster.
Why am I writing this? I have never read, let alone created a blog but something inside of me told me to TELL. Tell everything I am learning, tell everything I am doing and ask people to tell. Did you know that for some people coffee can cause a genome to shut off? It may have to do with the frequecy of its use or it could be the individuals sensitivity to the change in insulin level due to the bean, not the caffeine. I was guilty of that. So how do you know whether you're prone to getting cancer, excluding family history - which by the way, I have no family history of breast cancer. The best thing that I have learned to do is to have your blood evaluated. After my first son was born 2008 I mentioned to my girlfriend that I wanted to do a bioidentical analysis of my blood because I was seeking balance. I should have listened to my instincts...dont ignore your instincts, get answers!
I am not saying that is the end all and be all but its a good start. More to come....I have a lot to share. Wish me luck Chemotherapy starts in two days.
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